I have lost my funny. I can't seem to find my wit.
Perhaps I'm the only one who found my blog witty and slightly humorous, but I've sat down many times over the past few days and tried to update this little site with Meyer adventures.... and then I just stare at my blank computer screen. We've been busy...birthday parties, a suicide prevention walk, doctors appointments, a trip to Children's for chest xrays, playdates....we've been busy. I will get pictures posted and I will get it all on here...I just don't know when...hopefully soon.
I keep waiting for things to get back to "normal". I wake up each morning and I think today is the day that life goes on and I'll be "me" again. Then I go through the routines and I play with my beautiful girls and I get ready for work and I look in the mirror and I'm just not "me". I'm not sure who "me" is supposed to be any more. I just know that I've changed....
I don't blame Jess for the changes, I just look at my life, my husband, my children, my family, my job, my hobbies, everything differently now. My friend Jennifer said it best...sometimes I feel guilty for being happy. I feel lucky for my life and my opportunities and my future. I want to be happy and I want to live and I want to live LOUD....I just know life has changed and will never be the same and to some degree I am thankful to Jess for that.
Anyway, this is a lot of rambling but I'm still here and I'm doing ok (and I'm going to lot of counseling!). I will find my funny again and I will update my blog....and I will do it soon.
thinking of you, friend ... thanks for sharing candidly. you are indeed funny ... witty ... hilarious. but you're also thoughtful. and human! you do deserve to be and feel happy!
ReplyDeleteTake as much time as you need to find yourself again. You may not be your old carefree self, instead you may find yourself wiser appreciating the experiences and humor in everyday life. The best lesson we can take from Jess is to appreciate what we have everyday and live it to the fullest.
ReplyDeleteYou bring so much happiness to those around you, I am for one am very grateful to have you in my life.